


Legend of Korra: Time

by Middlemist1



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Multi, Republic City, Time Travel, back in time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21552547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Middlemist1/pseuds/Middlemist1
Summary: Avatar Korra travels back in time to the middle of season one of LoK, meets her past self, and has to deal with enemies long since defeated.
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato, Korra/Mako (Avatar)
Comments: 131
Kudos: 674





	1. Overview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon
> 
> Hi! So, I've never written a story for this fandom before, but I used to watch both ATLA and LoK, and I decided to write something that I've been toying around with for a while. I have absolutely no idea where this is going to go, it could be really long or short, and I don't have much of a plan, but we will see! In the unlikely chance that you have ever read any of my other stories, then you will know that all of them have to do with time travel in some way. Apparently I have a style... Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Also, I don't usually write in the third person, but it felt like this story would be better told if it wasn't from any one specific point of view. In later chapters, I might change it to 1st, but we'll see.
> 
> This story does diverge from the show's timeline, however all relationships, and hopefully personalities will remain strictly canon. (ie. korrasami is a thing)
> 
> This story begins right in the middle of episode 1x9 "Out of the Past", when Bolin, Asami, Mako, Tenzin, Lin, and three council members (southern water tribe, earth kingdom, and fire nation representatives) are confronting Tarrlok about kidnapping Korra.
> 
> This story is cross-posted on ao3 and Fanfiction.net, so if you see it on there under the name of Middlemist1, that is me.

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

\-----

"Don't make this worse for yourself," Tenzin said, his face solemn as he raised his hand in defense against Tarrlok.

Tarrlok's face contorted in anger and fear as he raised his hands to attack them when--

BANG.

A flash of light enveloped the entire room, and everyone dropped to the floor, covering their heads with their arms.

As the light faded, the form of a woman took shape on the floor in between Tarrlok and everyone else. 

Everyone slowly lowered their arms, shocked.

Beifong reacted first, attacking Tarrlok and quickly binding his hands and his feet, rendering him immobile.

"Korra?!" Mako shouted, recognizing her first, and rushing forward to pull her into his lap.

However, the second he turned her over he reared back in shock. 

Everyone else surrounded them, while Tenzin kneeled beside Korra, looking at her in astonishment. Beifong and Chief Sicon dragged Tarrlok out while calling for backup.

"What..." Bolin asked, at a loss for words. "What just happened?"

Asami shook her head, her face both worried and pissed off at the same time. "I have no idea."

"That _is_ Korra right?" Bolin whispered to her.

"I... I think so? I mean, it looks like her..." Asami suddenly looked horrified. "What did he do to her?"

Korra was unconscious, lying limply in Mako's arms. She had a large gash along her side and a smaller one on her left arm. Her hair was cropped short, not anything like her signature ponytail style, and she looked different. She was still Korra, just... her face was more angular, more aged. Her arms were riddled with wounds long since scarred over. She was what Korra would look like in about decade, maybe more. She didn't look 17. She looked closer to 25. Maybe 30.

Lin walked back in but stopped a few feet away, her face contorting in confusion when she saw the young avatar, rendered speechless.

And everyone noticed this, but nobody understood it. Bloodbending manipulated people against their will, but it didn't _age_ them. At least, no one had ever heard of it aging someone. Then again, it wasn't exactly an ability you saw every day, so...

Tenzin was the first to take the initiative. 

"Call a healer, and have her brought back to Air Temple Island, we can find out what happened later."

The moments after that were pure chaos.

\-----

A few hours later, as the sun was beginning to set, Korra woke up in a familiar, yet unfamiliar place. Her old room in Air Temple Island. 

She'd stopped living here almost three years ago (a year and a half after she and Asami started dating), preferring to stay with her wife in her mansion on the outskirts of the city, and only came back for holidays. Or if there was some end-of-world disaster about to happen. She preferred the former, but with her luck, it was usually the latter.

However, it didn't look like this anymore, with her few personal belongings scattered here and there. It had become just a guest room, as bear as all the others in this hallway.

What the hell had happened?!

Her head pounded and she sat up slowly, groaning as she did. Her side was wrapped in bandages, along with her left arm. Both were stinging like hell, but it wasn't even close to the worst she had ever had, so she ignored the pain. Her head, however, was a different matter. The world was spinning, and she felt seconds away from heaving up her lunch.

Someone jolted upright from where they were sitting beside her bed. 

"Korra, thank the spirits!" 

And what the hell was Mako doing here?!

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this chapter is really short, but I don't want to write more if it doesn't get a very good reception. My chapters are almost always 1000+ words, generally closer to 2,000. 
> 
> I will continue this if it gets good reviews! If not, well, it was a fun project.
> 
> Were the characters (from what you could tell so far) OOC?
> 
> Please comment!


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

\-----

"Korra, thank the spirits, you're awake!"

What the...

He threw his arms around me in a hug. I awkwardly patted him on the back, wincing as he touched my injured arm.

"Oh, sorry," He said, scrambling back, blushing.

Weird...

"Uh... whats going on?" I asked, looking around. Since when does Mako blush around me? I mean, he used to, when we were in that awkward stage when he was dating Asami, but I liked him, and then we kissed, and then I was kidnapped... yeah, not a highlight of my life, that's for sure.

"You were kidnapped." He said

"I was?"

"Yeah, you went to Tarrlok's office, and he blood bent you, remember?"

I did. But that had happened over eight and a half years ago. And Tarrlok hadn't been seen by anyone since not long after that either.

I must have looked confused because Mako became worried.

"Do you not remember?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

I hesitated, "No, I do." 

I didn't know what else to say. It's kind of hard to explain a situation when you have no idea what's going on.

There was a moment of silence

I pretended to cough, "Could I have some tea? Please?" 

He shot up out of his seat. "Of course! I'll go get some." Then he ran out of the room.

I snorted with laughter the moment he left. I'd forgotten how eager he was to help me right after I'd been kidnapped.

So... time travel. 

It seemed to be the most logical option of the hundreds of insane scenarios I'd run through my head since I'd woken up. It was crazy, but honestly wasn't the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me.

Well, I doubted it was, at least. Opening the spirit portals, fighting a giant force of evil, and spending a year and a half in a wheelchair was definitely more traumatizing that time travel.

And, if I looked on the bright side, I didn't have any world leaders or press breathing down my neck for the first time in a while. It was nice to get away from the judgment the world threw at me, even if it was through an experience that involved time travel.

I sighed, laying back against the headboard. What was I going to do?

\-----

Dinner was an odd affair. 

My time travel theory was proving itself more and more correct, and I had no idea how to tell anyone that I wasn't _their_ Korra. Their Korra was still out there, probably just having escaped Unalaq. 

I looked outside and saw the stars blanketing the sky. I was probably in the city right now hanging limply onto Naga. Who would find me if no one was looking?

After eating peacefully for a full two minutes, Tenzin broke the silence.

"What happened Korra? You seem... different" 

I snorted with laughter, almost choking on my soup, before slowly setting down my spoon to grab a napkin.

I seem different? Of course I do. I'm almost 26, a fully realized Avatar, and widely respected and renowned world leader, and was definitely _not_ a 17-year-old Avatar in training who'd only just begun to interact with society outside of the compound. 

But how was I supposed to tell them that though?

"I'm just... tired, I think," I replied, picking up my spoon. "I guess I just wasn't expecting... to be kidnapped."

But would anyone find me? I mean, if they took Tarrlok into custody, then Amon wouldn't follow him, and I'd still be stuck in that box. 

I didn't know what to do, but I had to do something.

"What happened to Tarrlok?" I asked Tenzin calmly.

He looked surprised at my lack of emotion, but he didn't comment. 

I'd forgotten how... spontaneous I used to be. Living around spirits had made me learn how to keep a tight hold on my emotions because if I ever felt on to powerfully it would affect the spirits living around me. It wasn't that I bottled things up, per se, more that I'd learned that you don't have to be so... intense all the time. It also helped in his stress situations to keep a level head, which was something that had taken me a while to learn.

I stood up abruptly, about to make up some excuse to leave dinner, when a White Lotus member burst through the door.

"Master Tenzin, Chief Beifong searched the place where Councilman Tarrlok took Avatar Korra, and you won't believe what they found."

\-----

Everyone wanted to go to the police station, but Tenzin made it clear that it would just be me and him, and that we would report back.

The second I walked into the police station things began to go downhill.

"Arrest her!" Chief Sicon ordered, and suddenly my hands were bound behind my back.

My breathing sped up, but I forced myself to remain calm. Now was not the time to have a panic attack. Even if the sensation of my wrists being bound reminded me of when Zaheer held me captive.

"What's going on?" I asked, though I already had a faint idea of what was.

"Who are you?" Lin demanded. 

"What do you mean 'who is she'?" Tenzin asked, outraged. "She's Avatar Korra, and she's done nothing wrong! She was just kidnapped, for god's sake!"

I wasn't, but I was injured, and the angle that they were holding my arms was not helping my healing process.

"That's _not_ Avatar Korra," Lin stated matter-of-factly. "We just found the real Avatar Korra in the snow, near the cabin Tarrlok left her in. He gave away her location while we were questioning him."

"And you found her?!" Tenzin asked ridiculously.

"Right near where Tarrlok said she would be," Lin replied. "So I don't know who this is, but she's _not_ Avatar Korra. The real Korra is here, being healed in a spare room in the precinct."

I decided this was a good time to butt in. "Actually, I am Avatar Korra. I'm just not _your_ Korra."

The look they gave me was indecipherable, but I got the gist. They didn't believe me.

I sighed, "Look, can I speak with you in private." We were in the middle of the lobby of the police precinct, and the room was silent with all eyes on us. The last thing I needed was some bad press over a misunderstanding."

Tenzin and Lin both looked at me skeptically before nodding, and Lin me over to an interrogation room. My hands were bound to the table, and then she began to question me. Tenzin had followed another officer to see if what Lin was saying was true.

"What do you mean your not _our_ Avatar Korra?" She asked, obviously not believing me. If I was in her position, I'm not sure I would either.

"I mean," I started, leaning forward while putting on what I hope was an intimidating look, "that I'm not from this time."

Now she looked confused and skeptical. This was going great.

I sighed for what felt like the millionth time, before elaborating. "Look, I don't completely understand what is going on myself. All I know is that one second I'm attempting to break up a street fight between the Triple Threat's and Agni Kai's, and the next I'm waking up on Air Temple Island with a whole bunch of people claiming I'd been kidnapped by Tarrlok and then rescued. I can put two and two together, and this seemed like the most likely thing that happened."

Lin still looked skeptical, but less confused. "If what you're saying is true, then how are you here. Why are you here."

Oh my god, I seriously just explained this.

My temper leaked through the wall I had up to contain it, and I accidentally broke through the handcuffs with metal bending as I attempted to wave my hands around in exasperation. Oops.

Lin immediately reacted, throwing her hands up to bind me again.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in a surrender position. "I'm sorry, that was an accident!"

This seemed to throw her off guard. "How do you 'accidentally' metal band out of handcuffs?"

"I-" I winced, knowing that this probably wasn't something she saw every day. "Well, Sui taught me how-"

"Sui!" Lin exclaimed, looking confused and horrified at the mention of her sister's name. I'd forgotten that they didn't use to get along. "How do you know her?!"

I winced again. This really wasn't going the way I wanted it to.

"Well, I met her in Zaufu a few years ago. Well, for me. For you, it would be in almost a year." I tried to explain.

Thankfully Tenzin walked in at that exact moment saving me from sabotaging myself any more than I already had.

However, the second I saw his face any relief I'd had flew out the window. I'd seen Tenzin angry before-- hell, he'd been angry at me before-- but not like this.

"Who are you?!" He demanded as he slammed his hands down into the table. "And how dare you impersonate Korra!"

"I didn't... ugh!" I smacked my forehead in my exasperation. I had a feeling that I would have to explain myself to a lot of people in the coming days.

I just wanted to go home. I missed home, I missed Asami, I missed my parents, I missed my friends. It's one thing to travel the world by yourself for months. At least I knew the people I loved were still there. But I was truly alone here. I was being interrogated by two people who I saw as my family! And I had no idea if I'd ever see any of my family or friends ever again. The mere thought of that made me want to start crying.

 _No,_ I scolded myself, _you can't think like that. Nothing good with come from it._

While I was distracted by my own thoughts, Tenzin and Lin had begun arguing about why Lin let me out of my cuffs.

"If you used your _eyes_ then you could see that she broke out of them! I didn't let her out!" Lin exclaimed

"Then why is she still untied!" Tenzin shot back.

"Because she doesn't seem to be an immediate threat!" 

"She infiltrated my _home,_ she was among my _family_ and if we hadn't caught her then she could have hurt them, or worse, and you expect me to believe that _she isn't a threat_!" Tenzin shouted.

"I wouldn't have--" I was ignored.

"She hasn't done anything wrong except for us believing that she was Korra and her not correcting us by telling us that she wasn't."

"Actually I am--" I was cut off again.

"Exactly, she didn't say anything, she just let us keep believing that she was Korra while the real Korra was being held captive!"

"If you hadn't come barreling in here shouting, then maybe we would have some answers by now!"

"She is _untied--_ " 

"ENOUGH!" I shouted, losing my temper. The chair I was sitting on was blasted back, along with the table. I felt the familiar rush of power the Avatar State gave me as I felt my feet lift off the ground, my eyes glowing.

"If you two would stop arguing and start listening, then maybe we could _all_ figure out what is going on." My voice was layered with thousands of other voices.

The shocked looks on their faces showed that I finally held their attention.

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!!! It keeps me going!!! 
> 
> Come back next Tuesday for another update!


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon
> 
> A/N: So... I didn't come back the next week as a planned to. And I did plan to, I swear! Thankfully, my motivation is back, and this is by far one of my better written stories that I've done. It's not going to be as long as I planned (less than 10 chapters, probably) but I will finish it! I will. Probably. Anyway, here you go!
> 
> Also, if there are any typos, I'm sorry! I wrote this on my phone at 2:00 in the morning curled up in my bed. My hands are numb. And completely cramped up. It's a problem. But I really think that being able to do this was a secret talent I didn't know I had.
> 
> Also, I hate switching POV mid-chapter, but I felt it necessary for this one. Note to future writers out there, don't be one of those people who have a million POVs in every chapter. It's super annoying if it's not done right (and I probably didn't do it right in this chapter but I tried)
> 
> Warning for swearing.

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

——-

Tenzin and Lin looked at me in shock, which I took great pleasure in. I mean, in my defense, they were really starting to piss me off. I never had to deal with this back home (well, I guess I sort of am home, but, you know, time travel). If I spoke, people shut up and listened (usually) because I had gained the respect to be listened to. But here I hadn't gained any respect yet, which I had a feeling would come back to bite me later.

I slowly lowered myself to the floor, shutting off the Avatar State. Tenzin and Lin still haven't seemed to realize that moving was an option.

I waited a second before sighing, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"Will you listen to me now?" I said impatiently.

That seemed to bring them back to reality.

"Holy shit," Lin cursed under her breath, "you weren't kidding."

Tenzin blinked. "Wait, wh-what, what's going on. There can't be two avatars? And why do you look like Korra?"

I sighed for what felt like the millionth time. "I look like Korra because I AM KORRA."

I may have slightly raised my voice at that last part. Slightly. But seriously, I might not be as temperamental as I used to be, but unfortunately "having a temper" is synonymous with my name at this point. A consequence of losing my temper a few too many times at press conferences. Oops.

"How are you Korra?" Tenzin asked skeptically, but not unbelievably. One more thing the Avatar State is good for, I guess.

"Time travel," I said bluntly.

They waited for me to elaborate. I didn't. The silence lasted about 20 seconds before I sighed and spoke again.

"Look, I don't know what's going on. As I said to Lin a few minutes before you walked in, and as I would have explained if you hadn't immediately lost your temper," I paused for dramatic effect, because why not, "I was in the middle of trying to break up a gang fight when there was a bang and a big flash of light and next thing I know I'm waking up in my old bedroom on Air Temple Island."

"So you don't know what happened?" Lin, taking this in stride, and who was going full detective mode, asked.

"No," I replied

Tenzin looked as though I had just given him the most shocking news of his life. Which I had.

"And you can't think of anything you might have done to provoke some spirit to do this to you?" Lin interrogated.

I decided to ignore the "anything you might have done to provoke someone" accusation.

"No," I replied again. The only spirit that could maybe have something to do with this was the dragon eel spirit, but we'd been on rather good terms lately. Any other spirits I may have pissed off (such as the one I almost hit with a car (driving is unfortunately not a skill I have gotten better at), the one that snuck into the house while I was cooking (I then proceeded to chase it out with a frying pan, to Asami's endless amusement), and the one who I had accidentally stepped on when walking through the park the other day, to name a few) were not anywhere near powerful enough to pull this off. And even if any of them had been able, my actions that had pissed them off we're defiantly not enough to warrant this.

I told Lin as much.

Tenzin's brain had seemed to start working again while Lin and I spoke. Thank god, because he might be annoying sometimes, but I really did rely on him, and he knew more about the spirits than just about anyone (except for, you know, the spirits themselves).

Tenzin looked thoughtful, before glancing outside the barred window. "I can look through books I have on the spirits tonight and see if I can find something, but in the meantime it's getting late. We should pick up our Korra and head back to Air Temple Island, and then explain to everyone what's going on."

I thought this over, before nodding. "Okay, but I have one request."

——-

Tenzin walked through the halls of the station, after calling ahead to Pemma and asking her to wake everyone up and have them meet him in the sitting room.

He was currently heading to find young Korra, and thinking everything over as he walked in a daze.

How had this happened? He already had to deal with one Korra, which was a nearly impossible feat in itself (that girl had no self-preservation skills whatsoever), but now he had to deal with two?! Granted, the older version of Korra seemed much more mature, but then again she had almost blown the roof off this place when she went in the Avatar State to just get his attention, so he wasn't entirely convinced that she was completely trustworthy.

Future Korra's request had been simple. Tenzin would go get young Korra and bring her back to air temple island, while future Korra and Lin would follow, but not intervene. Apparently, explaining what was going on three times was redundant and unnecessary (Korra's words), so future Korra would just explain to everyone at once to prevent confusion.

It was a solid plan, except for the fact that Tenzin now had to be very careful for the two Korra's not to meet before they got to Air Temple Island. And they were all going over on the same ferry. Granted, it was a large ferry, but young Korra always seemed to have a difficult time staying put, which annoyed Tenzin to no end.

The second he walked into the room Tenzin realized that he probably wouldn't have to worry about young Korra walking around. In her condition, standing up would probably be difficult. 

Tenzin kicked himself. With the whole "time-traveling Korra" problem going on, he'd completely forgotten why he was here in the first place. Korra had been kidnapped. By Tarrlock. Who was a blood bender.

If Tenzin wasn't against unnecessary violence, he would have marched over to Tarrlok right now and punched him in his perfect teeth.

——-

"Please tell me we're going straight to sleep when we get back," Korra groaned.

Tenzin winced, "Unfortunately there is something g we need to... deal with, but then of course."

Korra moved her hand from where it had been covering her eyes to look at him disbelievingly.

"What is so important that it has to be dealt with right after I was kidnapped?"

Tenzin coughed, before muttering almost incoherently, "You'll see."

Korra looked like she was about to argue before Tenzin shot out of his seat.

"We're here!" He exclaimed, as if it was the best thing in the world.

Korra looked at him skeptically, about to comment before Tenzin interrupted her by gently (but quickly) helping her out of her seat and leading her off the boat.

——-

Lin and I trailed younger me and Tenzin to a small sitting area, carefully avoiding being seen. With Lin being the Chief of Police and me being a fully realized Avatar who'd been put in situations that required sneaking around more times than I'd like to admit, it wasn't hard.

The weirdest part wasn't even the fact that I was literally following myself (though that was pretty weird). It was that Lin seemed to hate me.

I'd completely forgotten that our relationship used to be a bad one. I mean, sure, sometimes she acted like she hated me, but I always knew that it was just how she was. After I'd given her bending back to her we'd been on relatively good terms.

But she actually seemed to hate me. Well, I guess hate was a strong word. But she definitely disliked me. She didn't say a word the entire way over here, other than to question me some more. Our only other interaction was when she had silently handed me the hooded cloak that I had used to drape over my head in order to conceal my identity. My face might not be as recognizable in this time, but two Korra's on one boat would probably draw some attention.

Lin and I watched Tenzin enter the room before we rounded the corner. We stood outside the door, just away from where anyone could see us, and waited for a good time to enter.

I could feel the tension in the room spike the second my younger self walked in. They probably noticed that I went from having ponytails to not having ponytails, to having ponytails again in the span of two days.

"Tenzin, what's going on? Why did you call us all here? And why does..." Pemma trailed off.

I heard a moment of silence, before—

"It's really hard to explain, but we're trying to figure out what's going on," Tenzin replied. I could practically hear the exhaustion in his tone.

"Wait, what's going on?" I heard younger Korra ask.

I took this as my cue, and walked through the door.

——-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry. Cliffhangers suck for everyone but me.
> 
> P.S: How would you feel about a sequel to this that would be an ATLA crossover? Please comment!


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

\-----

Maybe I should have let Tenzin explain.

Don't get me wrong, the shock on everyone's faces is priceless, I just didn't realize how many _people_ there were. I mean, I've given speeches to thousands of people before and not been nervous at all, but there's a difference between giving an impersonal speech to thousands of strangers and having to explain myself to a room full of people I love but who don't know me. Especially when it's only a few people. Its easier to give a speech to a few thousand people than it is to a few dozen.

Seriously, I think everyone was here. Pemma, the kids, Tenzin, Lin, Mako, Bolin, and younger me. Hell, even _Asami_ was here, and my memory might be a bit foggy but I really don't think that we are at the point in her relationship with me-- her relationship with _anyone_ here (other than Mako)-- that warranted her being here. Wait, actually, I think this was after her father was arrested. I think. Dammit, my memory fuzzy. All of these events are mixing themselves out of order.

And it's not that I was against Asami being here or anything. It's just not very easy to deal with having to face any of these people in this situation, but having my own _wife_ not know who I am... well, I could have dropped to the ground and started sobbing pretty easily. I wasn't going to, but it did cross my mind for a second.

There was a full five seconds of silence before everyone started shouting.

"What-"

"Why are there-"

"Who is th-"

"How is this po-"

The only people who weren't speaking were Tenzin, Lin, and me. Well, both me's. Younger me and _me_ me. (Wow, this was confusing)

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Pemma shouted, effectively silencing the room. She took in a sharp breath, and, rubbing her temples, quietly (but not weakly), asked, "Tenzin, what on earth is going on?"

Tenzin silently looked toward me, and I nodded, opening my mouth to explain.

\-----

When I finished, everyone was silent. They just stared at the ground, as if this newfound information had fried their brains. 

I didn't speak for very long. Five minutes, maybe. I just explained everything that had happened after the flash of light took me here. But every tick of the clock felt like an eternity.

Bolin was the first to speak. Unsurprisingly. 

"Wait, wait, wait. So you're from the _future?"_ he asked breathlessly.

I nodded, narrowing my eyes slightly. I'd just explained this. 

"Yes," I said bluntly.

He nodded jerkily, before asking, "And how old are you?"

Great, now they wanted to know about my life. Which was understandable. I mean, of I got to meet a future version of myself or one of my friends I'd want to know everything too. I just didn't know what effect it would have on everything.

Could I change things if I said too much? Could I prevent Unalak from turning into a dark spirit? Could I prevent Zaheer from killing the Earth Queen? Could I prevent him from kidnapping me? 

Even all these years later, I still wasn't back to the fighting skill level I used to be at. I don't think I'll ever be. I've trained, of course. But it doesn't change the fact that I broke my back, and I still feel pain from that every day. It doesn't change the fact that there are some days that getting out of bed seems impossible. 

Dammit. I thought I was past this. 

I shook my head, attempting to clear my thoughts.

I cleared my throat, "Um, 25."

Bolin nodded like this was the most important thing he had ever heard.

"What is the future like? Do you know how to defeat Amon? Do we-"

Suddenly everything stopped.

I shot out of my seat, immediately on edge. 

And when I mean "everything stopped", I mean that literally. Bolin's mouth was open mid-sentence, his eyes wide. Mako looked like he was going to burn a hole in the wall with how intensely he was staring at it. Tenzin looked like he was about to fall asleep on his feet, and Asami was attempting to blend into the upholstery. 

But none of them moved. As if time itself had stopped.

"Hello, Avatar."

I spun around, and standing not three feet away from me was a spirit. At least, I think that it was a spirit. I couldn't make out what it looked like, but it almost looked... human. Slightly. If you ignored the swirling mist that seemed to make up its body.

I knew that I had never met this spirit before (I would remember), but it seemed almost... familiar, somehow. 

The spirit laughed lightly.

"Relax, Avatar, I am not here to harm you. The opposite, actually."

"Are you responsible for this," I accused

The spirit laughed again. 

"I'm assuming that you are referring to the fact that you are eight years in the past," the spirit inferred.

I nodded tersely.

The spirit seemed to nod slightly.

"Then yes, I am," the spirit claimed.

There was a moment of silence.

"Why?" I said quietly, sounding about as exhausted as I felt. Because, why? Why did things like this always have to happen right as I thought things were settling down. I didn't want to live my life on the edge. I didn't want to be constantly wondering when whatever peace I acquired blew up in my face. I just wanted a calm, _normal_ life at this point. I'd accepted my role as Avatar a long time ago, but that didn't mean that I'd accepted the constant paranoia that seemed to be needed to do my job effectively.

Because that's what being the Avatar _was._ A job. Most people got to have a say in what they were going to do with their life but, _nope,_ not me. I was born into a job that had shaped everything about my life and myself. And while I did enjoy being the Avatar, hell, I _loved_ being the Avatar because I actually got to make a lasting difference in this world, but that didn't mean that I didn't feel like I was _drowning_ sometimes under the pressure the world put on my shoulders. Because, when it came down to it, I never _chose_ to be the Avatar. I just _was._ And that made the job that much harder.

The spirit hummed slightly, "Why?" he said, referring to my earlier question. There was a moment of silence. "Because you've visited me several times, more and more frequently as of late, and almost every time you do I've given you exactly what you wanted."

What? 

The spirit laughed slightly, "You don't recognize me do you?"

I shook my head slightly, before hesitating. Could it be...?

The spirit laughed again, "Has it finally come to you?"

I hesitated again, before asking, "You're the Tree of Time, aren't you?"

The Tree of Time nodded.

I shook my head again, "Wh- what's going on? Why did you bring me here?"

"Because I felt you needed it," Time said calmly.

What? Why would I need to be eight years in the past?

The tree sighed, "Avatar, I have been around for all of existence, and I've watched thousands of Avatars live and die in what feels like-- to me, at least-- a matter of moments. There have been very few occasions where I have actually focused on what is going on in this world, and even fewer times that I have focused on the Avatar itself. But one thing I have learned in all of my years of existence is that the Avatar is needed to keep this world in balance. The nations, the spirits, they all depend on you. And when you are thrown out of balance, so is the world. Now, normally I would just wait for the next Avatar to come and help the world regain stability, not only because I felt that it would be unnecessary for me to intervene, but also because there isn't much I can do. I am Time. And while that may make me seem all-powerful, I am not. I cannot just fix the Avatar by helping them regain balance because their reasons for being out of balance are usually out of my domain. But you are the exception. For one, you caught my attention when you reopened the spirit portals right in front of me. As for the second, you seem to have been using me as a coping mechanism as of late."

I tried to interrupt, but whether I planned to defend myself or apologize I wasn't sure. Time didn't let me find out.

"It's alright, I don't mind, truly," Time said lightly, "All I mean by that is that you rely on looking to the past, either for advice or to merely observe times where you were more at peace. Before Zaheer. Before you were injured. I get that, I truly do. Many rely on the past for comfort or stability in trying times. All I mean by this is, in this particular instance, I _can_ help the Avatar regain stability because the Avatar has already been trying to use me to balance herself. Which brings me to why I sent you here."

Time seemed to gesture around the room.

"Often, for people such as yourself who have been through hard times, regaining stability in your life can not be beneficial when it comes to trying to regain stability within yourself. You have been hearing people, specifically the people you love, tell you that 'you will get better' and that they support you. Which, of course, is very helpful, but unfortunately when it comes to being at peace there is a part of the path you have to walk on your own. You have to figure out for yourself. And you have reached that point of your life now. You must accept your place in this world in order to bring balance to it. And, in order to do that, you must be proud of yourself for the accomplishments you have made in your life. However, instead of looking back on the past with pride, you look at the past in fear. You are dragging old, long-defeated enemies with you, and because of this you are unable to move forward. When you are in your time, no matter how much you have accomplished, you will always be expected to do more. To _be_ more than who you are. That is inevitable because you are the Avatar, and you have the entire world watching you and expecting you to do great things, especially in this modern age. However, because of this, you have never allowed yourself to congratulate yourself for the things you have accomplished, the hurdles you have overcome, and instead have focused on the parts of your life where you failed. But you need to move past that in order to be at peace. This is why you visit me so often. You instinctively are trying to balance yourself-- you have a need to accomplish more and you need to be proud of what you already have done. And in the modern age, this has become increasingly harder. So I brought you here. So you can have the time to leave the demons of the past where they should be-- the past-- and realize how far you have come since you started. Once you have done this, I will bring you back to your time so you can continue to keep the world in balance."

And for the first time in a while, I had nothing to say.

Because, if this spirit was telling the truth, then it had just given me one of the most valuable things anyone can have in life. The ability to be at peace.

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, that was a lot. But I'm proud of it. At least for now. I'll read this again in a year and cringe (I always do), but what can a girl do?
> 
> Anyway, please comment!! I know it seems like a ton of work but it really keeps me going!


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon
> 
> Just a quick reminder to stay safe and be careful. With everything going on, staying at home as much as you can, wearing a mask, and social distancing could save someone's life. I just lost someone to COVID-19 and the last thing I want is for anyone to feel the grief that is plaguing my family and myself right now. I know social distancing can be difficult, especially for people like me who thrive on social interactions, but please help flatten the curve for all of the people who have pre-existing conditions or who are 80+ who do have a 10% chance of not surviving. And for everyone out there who is doing as much as they can (which I am sure is most, hopefully all, of you) thank you. It really does mean a lot to a lot of people.
> 
> Anyway, on with the story!!
> 
> Warning for language

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon 

\-----

_I brought you here. So you can have the time to leave the demons of the past where they should be-- the past-- and realize how far you have come since you started. Once you have done this, I will bring you back to your time so you can continue to keep the world in balance."_

_And for the first time in a while, I had nothing to say._

_Because, if this spirit was telling the truth, then it had just given me one of the most valuable things anyone can have in life. The ability to be at peace._

_\-----_

My mind was reeling in a way it never had before. Because I'd seen some weird shit before but this defiantly took the cake.

Time-- _time--_ decided that it wanted to help me regain balance within myself in order to help balance out the world. So it brought me eight years in the past.

Weird. Crazy, even. If you told me a week ago what my current situation would be I would have thought you were insane.

Maybe I am going crazy. Maybe all the crazy shit that's happened to me in my life has finally caught up to me and I'm just hallucinating.

I pinched myself.

Nope, this was real. This was happening.

I took a deep breath.

 _Now is not the time to have a mental breakdown,_ I told myself _. Right now, I need to get all the information, and then I can come to terms with how insane my life is._

I nodded slowly, processing everything.

"A-," I coughed slightly, "am I able to tell them about my life so far?" I gestured around the room to my frozen friends. "Or will that negatively affect the future."

Time laughed slightly, as though my question was naive.

"Don't worry, you can tell them whatever you want."

I nodded.

"Just out of curiosity, why won't that affect anything?" I asked, shifting from foot to foot.

Time sighed, "Time is linear. You can't just 'go back' and expect everything in the future to have changed. If that were the case, your mere presence here would have already messed up the future pretty badly. This may be, objectively, 'your past', but it's also your future. You are living here now, and you don't know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow. So, yes, for everyone here the future might be different from yours, but when I bring you back to your time it won't be any different, because the moment I brought you here time branched out. This time is no longer your past, merely an alternate version of it."

I hesitated for a second, "So that's a no, then"

Time sighed again, "Yes, that's a no. Whatever you do here won't affect your life in your time."

I nodded, processing, before coming to a decision.

"Great!" I said, "So this is just a vacation then. Except instead of going to Ember Island, I just have to fight enemies I've already beaten."

"You doing that anyway," Time smirked slightly. At least, I think they did. It's kind of hard to tell when it doesn't really have a face. Also, rude, but true.

Time looked around once, before nodding. "I'll be going then. Good luck, Avatar."

Then Time was gone. The world seemed to push 'play', and everything restarted.

"-win the war against Amon?" Boling finished asking, before hesitating and spinning around to face me.

"Wait, you can _teleport?"_ he asked, his mouth open.

What?

Everyone was staring at me with even more shock than they had when I first walked in here.

Oh. In my discussion with the Embodiment of Time, I had walked across the room. So for them, who had spent the last few minutes frozen, it would look like I teleported from one side of the room to the other.

"No, no, no," I started quickly explaining, before hesitating. I was trying to make this whole situation seem less weird, but saying I teleported might be less shocking than the fact that Time was just in the room and no one but me noticed.

I sighed, "I can't teleport. Time just froze for a little while for you guys and I walked across the room."

There was a beat of silence before the dam broke and questions started rushing at me. Again.

"What-"

"Why are there-"

"How is this po-"

I was having deja vu. Well, more than usual. This whole ordeal was giving me a lot of deja vu in-and-of-itself.

"One at a time please!" I asked, to no avail. The stream of questions kept coming.

After another minute of this, I lost my temper.

"Enough!" I shouted, going into the Avatar State. Not to the degree that I had earlier in the police station to get Lin and Tenzin to shut up, but just enough so that my eyes glowed. That shut everyone up pretty quickly.

I should start doing that when I get home. Maybe it would shut up a courtroom of politicians or a group of journalists, though that seemed unlikely. When they wanted to have their voices heard, nothing would stop them. Not even the combined might of all the past Avatars.

The room was silent.

I sighed, before walking over to the couch Mako and Asami were sitting on-- on the opposite side of the couch, I noticed, as though they were trying to get as far apart from each other as possible-- and gestured for them to make room while I sank down into comfy seats.

I did this partly because I felt that it would make me seem less intimidating (I'd found, over the years, that the more intimidating I was, the quicker the judgment and scrutiny came). But I mostly did it because my back was killing me and I was legitimately afraid that if I spent one more second on my feet, my legs would have given out, which was, unfortunately, a reality I had to live with these days.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, everyone's eyes on me, before looking up.

"Okay, let's do it this way. Each of you thinks of one question, and I'll answer it to the best of my ability. One at a time, and only _one_ question for now. Please. I'll answer more in the morning."

There was a moment of silence while everyone contemplated what their question would be.

"Do we defeat Amon, and if so, how?" Lin was the first to ask.

I nodded my head. "Yes, we do."

Everyone breathed out a sigh of relief.

I sat forward in my seat, "It's a long story, so I'll just abbreviate it. If you want more information I can give it to you in the morning"

Lin nodded her consent.

I sighed again, "Amon's real name is Noatak. He's a Waterbender and a Bloodbender from the Northern Water Tribe. He is Tarrlok's brother and Yakon's son."

There was a beat of silence.

"What?" Mako said, shocked.

I nodded again, "I know, pretty crazy. But that's how he takes people's bending away-- with Bloodbending. And don't worry, it's not permanent like he claims it to be."

"What do we have to do to reverse it?" Pemma asked.

"I can. Aang taught me how." I told her.

"You can talk to our past lives?" Korra asked me.

I nodded, before hesitating, and then I shook my head. "I used to be able to, but, unfortunately, a few years ago, I lost all connection to my past lives. I still haven't gotten it back. I don't think I ever will."

This was still a sore topic. Other than Yuan, I was the only Avatar to be unable to access my past lives, and while I know that I did all I could against Vaatu, there are still points in my life where I wish I still had access to them. Their advice would have probably gotten me out of several situations I wish I'd never put myself through in the first place.

"Why can't you anymore?" Jinora asked

I sighed again, putting my head in my hands, "That's another long story. But, well you know how the Avatar is the bridge between our world and the spirit world."

I looked around the room as everyone nodded.

"The Avatar is the bridge between this world and the spirit world because the Avatar is part spirit."

"What?" Bolin looked confused.

I laughed lightly, "Yeah, I know, it's pretty crazy, but it's true. Her name is Raava."

"Wait, wait, wait. There is a spirit living in me? That I never knew about? Why had no one mentioned this?" Korra looked over at Tenzin accusingly. Tenzin shook his head, shrugging his shoulders.

Wow, I forgot how confrontational I used to be. I mean, I defiantly still _was_ confrontational, but I now only really was when the situation required it.

"That's because no one knew." I told her (me?), "At least, not anymore. I only know because Harmonic Convergence happened in my lifetime."

"Harmonic whatnow?" Bolin asked.

"It's... complicated," we were going to be here all night, aren't we.

"Uncomplicate it," Lin deadpanned.

I sighed for what felt like the millionth time, "Okay, okay. So, Harmonic convergence is when all the planets in our solar system align and makes the spirit world and the physical world become so close that they nearly align. Essentially, it spills an unbelievable amount of power into our universe, but it only lasts for about an hour, and it only happens once every 10,000 years. The last Harmonic Convergence, 10,000 years ago, is what created the first Avatar, Avatar Yuan, when he used the power of Harmonic Convergence to permanently fuse with Raava, the light spirit. At the time, Raava was carrying three of the four elements, while Yuan was carrying one, so when they fused, Yuan was able to manipulate all four. Then, when Yuan died many years later, Raava moved onto another body, bring Yuan's spirit with her, and so on."

I paused to take a deep breath.

"The reason I can't access the past Avatars is that during the Harmonic Convergence in my lifetime, Raava was ripped out of me and destroyed. Well, sort of. You can't really destroy light. Thankfully we were able to fuse again before Harmonic Convergence ended, but when Raava was 'destroyed' the spirits of the past Avatar's were too. And while you might not be able to destroy light, human spirits are something else entirely."

There was silence.

I laughed awkwardly, "I told you it was a long story."

How was this supposed to help me? All it was doing was reminding me of all the ways I failed!

"That's going to happen to me?" Korra asked

"Maybe. I don't really know what your future will be like, given that I'm here now and I defiantly never had to deal with _my_ future self."

"Should you be telling us any of this?" Tenzin looked concerned, "What if you mess up the future."

I shook my head. "I don't really understand it, but what I do know is that Time made it very clear that me being here would affect _my_ timeline. Time said that the moment I arrived here, your time branched into another timeline, so nothing was going to be the same anyway. I might as well try to prevent yourtimeline from making the mistakes mine made."

Tenzin nodded skeptically. This is definitely not the last time I would have to explain my interaction with Time.

Bolin raised his hand.

I laughed slightly, before nodding toward him. I hadn't realized how much I missed my friends until this moment, but being the Avatar took up a lot of time. Bolin moved to Ba Sing Se over a year ago after his breakup with Opal and I hadn't really spoken to him since. We sent letters to each other, of course (and I actually responded this time), but it wasn't the same as seeing him in person.

As for Mako, he left for the Fire Nation over three years ago, after Firelord Zuko died. Things had started to destabilize after his death, unfortunately. After the Earth Kingdom dissolved their monarchy, some Fire Nation citizens seemed to think that the whole idea of monarchy was old-fashioned and out-dated. A small rebellion had started up, so the United Republic decided to send reinforcements to help quell it. I spent a few months living in Caldera City myself to assist the effort, but once everything had been restabilized Mako had decided to stay in the Fire Nation and settle down there. 

I'd seen him twice since then. The first was a few months after what had been dubbed "Liang's Rebellion", after the man who had sparked it, and the second time was when Mako was wed to a firebender named Michi. I hadn't heard from him much since other than a letter or two.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts before listening to Bolin's question.

"Are there any more insane villains we should know about?"

I hesitated for a moment. Unalaq, Zaheer, and Kuvira all came to mind but I hesitated. Other than getting my father banished, Unalaq hadn't really done anything that would warrant anyone in this room having to know about, and Kuvira hadn't done anything wrong yet at all. Would it be right to have them arrested for something that they _might_ do?

I opened my mouth to name them, before hesitating. No. They hadn't done much, if anything, wrong yet. Eight years ago I wouldn't have hesitated to out them, but if the past few years had taught me anything, it was that nothing was black and white.

I settled for the easy option.

"One," I looked over to Lin, addressing her, "Have Zaheer's prison be outfitted for an Airbender, not a non-bender."

She looked both shocked and confused. "Why-"

"Just trust me," I pleaded, not wanting to talk about Zaheer anymore than I had too, "please."

She studied me for a second, before nodding. Whatever she had seen in my face had prevented any more questions. Thankfully. Or she was just abiding by my one-question rule.

Tenzin looked like he wanted to speak, but he thankfully refrained himself because he'd already asked his question. I really hoped that this would be over soon. I needed sleep. Or caffeine.

"Any more questions?" I asked, praying that there were no more.

Ikki raised her hand enthusiastically.

I nodded toward her.

"Who's your husband?" she asked, gesturing toward the ring on my finger.

I really should have had the foresight to take it off beforehand.

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for all of you super perceptive people out there, I know that Korra is Water Tribe and therefore should be wearing a betrothal necklace if she is married. I haven't ignored this detail, I promise, and I will explain more in later chapters.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon
> 
> Just a quick reminder to stay safe and be careful. With everything going on starting at home as much as you can, wearing a mask, and social distancing could save someone's life. I just lost someone to COVID-19 and the last thing I want is for anyone to feel the grief that is plaguing my family and myself right now. I know social distancing can be difficult, especially for people like me who thrive on social interactions, but please help flatten the curve for all of the people who have pre-existing conditions and who are 80+ who do have a 10% chance of not surviving. And for everyone out there who is doing as much as they can (which I am sure is most, hopefully all, of you) thank you! It really does mean a lot to a lot of people.
> 
> Anyway, on with the story!!

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

\-----

"I don't have a husband," I replied. Which was completely true. I don't have a husband. I did promise to answer these questions to the best of my ability but I refuse to be the sexual awakening for my past self. That's one thing she can figure out on her own.

And, besides, I did promise to answer these questions to the best of my ability, so I wasn't really breaking that rule. Loopholes.

Thank the spirits I wasn't wearing my betrothal necklace. I took it off whenever I had to do something dangerous (like fighting som of the most notorious gangs in Republic City) after a particularly terrifying incident that involved an angry hoard of spirits and three days of searching before I found the necklace again. So yeah, no necklace. 

It would have been a dead giveaway anyway. I could pass off a ring as just something I had decided to wear as an accessory. 

A lot of people in the south found it odd that I wore a wedding ring, but it was Asami's culture for spouses to wear rings, so I had chosen to abide by it.

"Bu-" Ikki started.

"I think its time for bed!" Pemma, a saint, said enthusiastically. "We can continue this discussion in the morning."

Thank the spirits.

\-----

As everyone slowly left the room I realized that I had no idea where I was going to sleep. I couldn't exactly sleep in my old room because younger me was already sleeping there. And I didn't want to just claim one of the empty rooms without speaking to Tenzin or Pemma, but unfortunately, they had both been some of the first people to leave, having to drag Milo and Ikki, to bed.

Thankfully Jinora seemed to pick up on my discomfort.

"I can show you to a free room if you want?" she asked, folding her hands in front of her and leaning forward, "Though I suppose you already know your way around here."

I laughed slightly, "I guess I do, but it has been a few years since I spent my time here regularly."

A lie. Asami and I came here every Friday evening for "family dinners", as Tenzin dubbed it. But we never stayed overnight, so it was true that the section of the island that contained the bedrooms was becoming a foggy memory.

Korra and Asami were standing by the door, waiting for me to walk back with them to the rooms.

And now was the fun part. Walking back to the rooms while pretending like my legs _didn't_ feel like they were only seconds away from giving out. Great.

I grabbed the side of the couch and pulled myself to my feet, wincing slightly.

Korra's eyebrows furrowed, "Are you okay?"

"Yup!" I said a little too quickly, "Fantastic!"

"Are you su-?" she started.

"Let's go, " I interrupted her, before walking right past her and heading toward the rooms.

\----- 

The walk back was completely silent.

Jinora silently led us through the winding hallways while Asami's eyes flicked back and forth between me and Korra.

I guess it was pretty jarring to have the same person walking side by side.

"So," I said, breaking the silence, "would you mind catching me up on everything that's happened recently? I mean, I did live all of this already but it has been eight years and my memories a little fuzzy on the details." I scratched the back of my head.

"Oh, um, sure," Korra said, sounding exactly the same as me (having the same person talk to each other was an... odd-sounding conversation, to say the least, because we both sounded _exactly_ the same, down the way we annunciated our verbs) "Well, to list off the most recent events, Tarrlok was discriminating against the non-benders of Republic City and when I confronted him he arrested Mako, Bolin, and Asami. I went to Tarrlok's office to try to make him let them go but he kidnapped me. Then he took me to some cabin in the mountains, and I escaped, but Amon was there--"

"Wait, _Amon was there_?" Asami said, her voice a higher pitch than usual. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I escaped from him too," Korra said, brushing her off, "but Tarrlok didn't. I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore. I still can't believe that he and Amon are brothers, that's so weird. How did you find that out?" she asked, directing her question at me."

"I found Tarrlok locked in a cell," I stated, "he told me everything. He claimed that he recognized Amon's-- Noatak's bloodbending grip. And while I now realize in hindsight that his story was kind of unbelievable, he was right. Amon was a bloodbending waterbender."

"How did you defeat him, though?" Asami asked.

"I kind of threw him in a river and he exposed himself as a waterbender in front of a bunch of equalists. Then he ran off," I told her.

"Wait, so you don't know where he is?" Asami asked accusingly.

"Well, objectively, no. But it's been eight years and no one has seen him since. Apparently some local fisherman found what remained of a boat a few days later. There wasn't much left, but the boat exploded, or so I was told, and no one had ever been reported missing. My theory is that he took Tarrlok and ran, but then Tarrlok killed him." I explained.

She looked at me skeptically, "Then what happened to Tarrlok?"

I sighed, "Honestly, I think he destroyed the boat while both he and Amon were in it."

She looked at me, completely shocked, "You think he killed himself?!"

I nodded, "I spoke with him only the day before the boat was destroyed. I know a defeated man when I see one."

Both Korra and Asami looked at me, shocked, and the rest of the walk back was silent.

\-----

Laying down in bed was a huge relief. Another few steps and I would have been done.

I slowly took off my shoes and laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

I had no idea what I was doing. How could I? This wasn't exactly something that had been done before, at least to my knowledge. And I couldn't exactly ask anyone for advice. I mean, of course I knew everyone here, but, unfortunately, no one here knew me. I couldn't just go wake up Asami or Tenzin and ask them for what they thought of this whole situation. Because as much as I loved them, they didn't love me. The didn't even _know_ me.

I was all alone.

There was a prickling behind my eyes, so I squeezed them closed tightly.

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

What was I going to do? I needed advice, but my past Avatars were gone and no one here knew me.

My eyes shot open. _No one here knew me._

But there was one person who didn't need to know you to give you really good advice. And even better tea.

\-----

"Ugh," I huffed, putting my head in my hands. 

I couldn't concentrate. I had never really excelled at anything spiritual but I though I was past this. I needed to focus to get into the spiritual world, but I had forgotten how difficult it was to do when the portals weren't open.

 _I can do this,_ I told myself, before straightening my spine and resting my hands back on my crossed legs.

Another minute went by. Nothing.

_I can't do this._

I put my head back in my hands, trying not to cry. 

Why wasn't anything working?!

I looked around the bare room at the dusty old desk and the creaky bed (which was unnecessarily hard and uncomfortable)

This wouldn't work. There was no spiritual energy in a guest room.

I stood up slowly, before walking across the room quietly and heading down the hall, wincing with every step. 

Maybe I could find some painkillers while I searched for a decent place to meditate.

I rarely used painkillers because I knew how addictive they could be, but I figured that after everything I'd been through in the past 36 hours using them once so I could figure out what to do wouldn't hurt.

I made my way down do the kitchen where I distantly remembered Pemma keeping some hidden on the top shelf in the back of the room.

The second I entered the room I realized I wasn't alone.

I tensed up before relaxing as I recognized who it was.

"Hi Pemma," I greeted as I made my way toward the cabinet.

Pemma looked up quickly, startled, before relaxing slightly, "Oh, hello Korra. How are you?"

I laughed slightly as I reached for the painkillers, "I'm doing okay. You?"

"Are you injured?" Pemma fretted, noticing the painkillers in my hand, "I can call a healer if you'd like? I can't believe Tenzin didn't check to see if you were okay. You said you were in a gang fight before this all happened, right." 

"No, no, no need for a healer, I'm fine. It's just an old injury. It gets worse when I'm stressed," I explained as I crossed the room to reach for a glass of water.

"An old injury?" she asked, looking concerned, "something the healers couldn't fix?"

I swallowed two pills quickly before explaining, "The healers did an amazing job and I am marginally better than I was when it first happened. Unfortunately, though, they couldn't completely fix me."

"What happened?" she asked, as I walked over to the icebox to find something to eat.

"Oh, nothing really," I said.

She looked at me skeptically, "Are you sure? The healers couldn't heal a minor injury?"

I hesitated, "I'd... I'd really rather not talk about it, if that's okay?"

Flashes of memory crossed my vision. The cave. The chains. The poison. The fall. _Zaheer._

Pemma suddenly looked embarrassed, "Oh, of course! I'm overstepping my boundaries anyway." She started to stand up, as if to leave.

"No, no! I don't mind, really!" I exclaimed, "It's just... painful memories, you know?"

I looked up at her to see her staring at me with pity in her eyes.

"Of course," she said quietly.

Pity. Something I had become increasingly accustomed to over the past eight years and something I hated more every time I was faced with it.

I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore, but I grabbed a bean bun anyway so as to not seem rude.

"I'll head back now," I told her.

Pemma opened her mouth to speak but I was out of the room before she could say the first word.

I took a deep breath, before shaking my head.

 _I need to find a good place to meditate,_ I told myself.

_\-----_

Eventually, I made my way to the small pavilion that overlooked the sea. Perfect.

I set the bean bun down on a railing, before walking to the center of the Pavillion and sitting down cross-legged, facing the ocean.

I closed my eyes, rolled my shoulders to help relax, and focused.

After what felt like seconds I opened my eyes to the vibrancy of the spirit world.

I turned around to find a little house sitting primly across the field.

As I started walking, I hesitated.

 _What am I doing?_ I asked myself, _he doesn't know me. Aang's spirit is gone so I have no connection too him. What if he won't help me?_

Ugh. I needed to stop thinking negative thoughts. Backing out now would get me nowhere. 

If there's one thing I'd learned over the years, it's that people are usually willing to help you. All you have to do is ask. 

"Hello, Korra," I heard someone say behind me.

I spun around ready to fight, before relaxing as I saw who it was.

"Hello, Iroh."

\----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I use way to much passive voice in my writing... oh well. 


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new charger! Thank god, because if I had to go another day without my computer I was going to lose it. Also, on a completely unrelated note, I impulse bought a beta fish. I wanted a cat, but I realized I am not responsible enough for that, so I got a fish instead. His name is Jerry, and I love him already.
> 
> Also, why did I decide to write Iroh?! There is no way I can do his character justice. Oh well.
> 
> P.S: I know I said that this updates on Tuesdays, but my Tuesdays are from 1:00 pm to 6:00 am, so… yeah.
> 
> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodean

_\-----_

_After what felt like seconds I opened my eyes to the vibrancy of the spirit world._

_I turned around to find a little house sitting primly across the field._

_"Hello, Korra," I heard someone say behind me._

_I spun around ready to fight, before relaxing as I saw who it was._

_"Hello, Iroh."_

\-----

As I walked with Iroh toward the cottage, my mind was working at a million miles per hour.

I don’t think I have ever been so nervous, and I can’t, for the life of me figure out why. I knew Iroh. I’d known him for years. To this day I still spoke with him regularly, and his advice has helped me time and time again. But he was the person I’d go to if I’d exhausted all of my other options, especially since the Spirits weren't my always my biggest fans. 

These days I had certain people I would go to if I needed advice. Asami was almost always the first, and she usually would help me through whatever situation I had found myself in. If I couldn’t find the clarity I needed with her, then I’d usually go to Tenzin. Even though I’d been a fully realized Avatar for years, he would always be my mentor. Then I had my parents, who were just a call away. 

Iroh was one of the people I would go to if I felt the whole world was against me. If my approval ratings were low, or Asami and I were disagreeing on something, then I’d usually go to Iroh. Because of his place in the Spirit World, he was disconnected from most things going on in the physical world. Sure, I knew he had ways of finding out, but he seemed fairly content with separating himself from the problems of the physical world, so he was always the person I would go to if I wanted an unbiased opinion. That, and his connection to Aang and the past. “History is doomed to repeat itself” is a fairly common saying, and Iroh was my way of trying to make sure I didn’t repeat the mistakes of the past. That used to be Katara’s role in my life, but she had unfortunately passed away a few years ago. Her death had hit everyone pretty hard, especially since it was not only Aang’s wife, Tenzin’s mother, my mentor that had passed away but also because it had signified the end of an era. The world was moving on to a new age, and we had no choice but to ride out the waves.

I think the reason I’m so nervous is that Iroh is one of the only continuities I have at the moment. My entire life had just been ripped away from me, and while I knew that I would eventually be able to go home it didn’t make it much easier. I’d learned over the years that one of the most valuable things there was when it came to being the Avatar was a strong support system, and, as of right now, Iroh was the only person left from the people I relied so heavily upon.

Yes, I knew I had people back on Air Temple Island, but they didn’t know _me._ They knew younger Korra, and if there is one thing I’d realized in the past 24 hours it’s that I was so different from my past self she was nearly unrecognizable to me. Not in a bad way, of course. I’d just grown up a lot in the past few years, so whatever advice past me needed probably wouldn’t help me now.

\-----

Iroh had decided to brew us some tea, and I was too jittery to speak up. Normally I would have demanded to get straight to the point, but at the moment I was content to sit back and take a breather. I’d hardly had any time to relax recently.

“So,” Iroh started as he handed me my tea and sat down across from me, “I would like to help you, Avatar Korra, but I am afraid I am a bit confused. I was under the impression that you did not have the ability to enter the spirit world yet, so may I ask how you are here? Not that I am not grateful to finally meet you, of course.”

I laughed lightly, “No, no, you are right. I don’t have the ability to travel here yet. But _I”_ I gestured at myself, “am from about eight years in the future, so I have had the time to learn,”

I hesitated, waiting to see his reaction.

Iroh nodded sagely, sipping from his tea.

“I am assuming the Tree of Time has something to do with this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I felt my whole body relax and nodded. I’d been afraid that I’d have to launch into some long explanation about what had happened and how this was possible. Or worse, that he wouldn’t have believed me at all.

“Yes, and…” I sighed, staring down at my tea, “to be honest, I have no idea why I am here. Well, at your cottage, here. Time told me something about ‘being to stuck in the past to be an effective Avatar’, so I guess they decided to literally stick me in the past to teach me a lesson. But, I don’t know why I came here, to you. I guess I’m just really confused and you are always someone whose willing to give me advice, so…”

I sighed, putting my head in my hands.

Iroh waited a moment before responding, “To be honest, I am not surprised you are here at all. It’s only natural for you to hold on to one of the only things you have in common with your life in the future. I can’t imagine having to go back before I made connections with people who I love more than anything, going back to the time of my father’s reign, during the war, before I ever had my son or my nephew. That being said, the Tree of Time wouldn’t have gone through this much trouble to merely inconvenience you. If I were you, I’d try to use this time to balance yourself. You seem very conflicted. However, I did only just meet you, so I could be wrong”

“You’re not wrong,” I told him, trying to laugh so I could make light of the situation. I didn’t succeed.

Iroh nodded, “Well, here is what I would recommend. There isn’t much you can do. The Tree of Time brought you here, and they will bring you back when they deem you ready. Until then, try to take advantage of the situation. You are the Avatar, and from what I saw with Aang and now you, the job does not come without its pressures. The balance of the world is constantly fluctuating, so you are constantly working to maintain that balance. You fix one problem and another will just come and take its place. Now you have been given a chance to sort through yourself and your thoughts without the world needing you, because there is already a younger version of yourself filling that position. For the first time in your life, there is no one who needs you to come and sort through their problems. Take this time to learn about yourself and overcome whatever it is that I can see plaguing you. Then you can go back home, hopefully feeling much lighter than you did when you left.”

I nodded. He wasn’t wrong. But…

“That is true. I guess what is holding me back from taking advantage of this time is the fact that I’m… I don’t know. Yes, in the future I am struggling with accepting what has happened. Yes, I hold onto the past so much that it borders on unhealthy, but I’m working on it. I have been working on it for along time. And I have people who care about me, people who I love and who love me who are helping me work through it. But here… here I’m alone. All alone. I have no one in this world who knows me, who understands me, who knows what I’ve been through. How much pain I’m in, every day, not just mentally but physically too. I can be weak around them, I can't drop this facade. I have to keep up because if I show any weakness the world thinks I’m incompetent. But I can’t drop the facade here because I don't know anyone well enough to be able to do that. No one here knows me. I’m all alone.”

And for the first time since that cursed flash of light, I let the tears fall.

\-----

“Thank you Iroh,” I told him, truly grateful.

I’d made the right decision by coming here. I’d been bottling everything up, and while I detested crying at least I knew Iroh wouldn’t judge me for it. 

He’d let me cry for a few minutes before he spoke.

_“It’s alright to feel this pain. Feel it, embrace it, and then let it go. The past is the past, and while you may feel like you are alone I can guarantee you are not. Your friends on Air Temple Island may not know you, but they would like to, and they will try their best. And, if that doesn’t work, I can be here for you if that is what you want. You will see your family again, and when you do, you will feel all the more loved”_

I took a deep breath. Time to face the music. It was probably morning in the physical world by now, so I would have to face another interrogation session. Great.

I smiled, “Goodbye Iroh. And, again, thank you.”

Iroh nodded, “Anytime, Avatar.”

“Korra,” I corrected him with a smile.

He smiled back, before nodding, “Korra.”

\-----

I opened my eyes to Bolin.

I shot backward, “What the h-”

Bolin jumped, before shouting, “She’s back guys!”

Oh no.

I turned around to Lin, Tenzin, Asami, and Mako all standing on the ground next to the pavilion.

Mako sighed in relief, “You wouldn’t wake up, and your eyes were glowing, so we were getting worried.”

I raised my eyebrow at that, “Oh, well, I was in the Spirit World. It’s nearly impossible to pull me back to the Physical World from this side.”

Everyone paused at that, and Tenzin looked at though he was going to faint from happiness.

“You can enter the Spirit World? How long have you been able too?”

I was silent for a moment as I slowly got to my feet. The painkillers were working, thank Raava.

“For several years now. However, it’s a lot harder to do now ‘cause the Spirit Portals are closed.”

There was a beat of silence.

“What?”

I sighed again. 

“How about I explain over breakfast.”

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is a bit shorter. I have an AP Language test tomorrow so I figured I should study for that instead! Any comments about my writing would be really helpful, especially since I literally have an essay test tomorrow that will be based on how well I write!


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon
> 
> A word of warning, I am currently pushing myself through a writer’s block right now, so I am sorry if this chapter doesn’t seem as well written as the others. If anyone has anything they want to see in the story, please comment it and I might put it in or use it as inspiration for something else! (seriously, I really need some inspiration) I feel like this story has so much potential, but I haven’t been following my original plotline, so now I’ve run out of ideas and I’m hoping inspiration will come to me soon.

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

_\-----_

_“You can enter the Spirit World? How long have you been able too?”_

_I was silent for a moment as I slowly got to my feet. The painkillers were working, thank Raava._

_“For several years now. However, it’s a lot harder to do now ‘cause the Spirit Portals are closed.”_

_There was a beat of silence._

_“What?”_

_\-----_

The walk back to the dining room was… awkward, to say the least. Tenzin was very obviously bursting with questions, Mako was still in his “conflicted feelings faze” (in other words, him cheating on Asami with me. Well, sort of. Emotionally, anyway, which can be just as damaging), Asami looked like she was seconds away from breaking Mako’s nose (understandably), and Lin still wasn’t a fan of mine. 

Not to mention I had just had an extremely emotionally taxing night that had not included any rest, so all I wanted to do was sleep for the next 24 hours.

At least Bolin seemed to be in a good mood if his enthusiasm was any indication.

\-----

The moment we walked into the dining room I felt everyone visibly relax.

“Oh, you found her. Thank the spirits,” Pemma said, before gesturing to a place at the table for me to sit.

I looked at her questioningly.

Pemma, observant as always, answered my question before I voiced my thoughts.

“We were just worried that something had happened to you. You weren’t in your room this morning, and you seemed a bit distressed last night, so…” she looked slightly embarrassed.

Oh. They thought I ran away. Well, that was slightly embarrassing. I mean, I definitely didn’t want to be here, but I wasn’t going to run away just to escape my problems!

But, of course, they didn’t know that. Because they didn’t know me.

I shook my head. There was no reason to dwell on that. I’d go home soon and all of this would be behind me, but until then there wasn’t much I could do about this whole situation.

And, yes, they might not know me, but I _could_ do something about that.

\-----

After we’d all finished our meals (I was honestly surprised I’d made it this long without another interrogation), the questions started again, and Pemma was the one to open the floodgates.

“Korra?” She asked, getting both my and my younger self’s attention.

“Yes?” we both responded.

“Oh, older Korra,” she gestured toward me, “I was just wondering where you were this morning. Just so, if we can’t find you again, we might know where to look _before_ we send out a search party.”

“Um, well, I can’t guarantee I’ll always be in the same place, but this morning I was at the pavilion. Well, sort of.” This got everyone’s attention.

“What do you mean, ‘sort of’” Jinora asked.

“I was in the Spirit World, actually.” Everyone looked at me in shock, but I tried to laugh it off, feeling a bit uncomfortable, “I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed by this whole situation, so I went to the Spirit World to think some things through.”

“You can go to the Spirit World?” Korra asked me, shocked.

I laughed, understanding. Back then, anything having to do with the Spirit World or the spirits was one of the hardest things I had to figure out. Even after everything that happened with Unalak, I still struggled to conduct myself in the Spirit World and with the spirits, and I never really felt comfortable in the Spirit World. Mostly because I’d always struggled to maintain control over my emotions, and in the Spirit World one outburst and I could be done for. However, after the Spirit Portal opened in Republic City, I didn’t only have to deal with this world’s leaders, but representatives from the Spirit World as well. Granted, they didn’t have countries and governments like we did here, but there were some Spirits who had stepped up and tried to figure out how a portal in the middle of a major metropolis would effect the Spirit World and worked to prevent as many humans as entering through it as possible, so I’d spent quite a bit of time not only speaking with Spirit World leaders, but also staying in the Spirit World itself. After that, it had started to become a place I could go to if I needed to get away from everything for a little bit. Another perk of being the Avatar. The spirits might not be huge fans of humans encroaching on their home, but I seemed to be the exception being part spirit myself.

I realized that I’d been quiet for a few seconds too long and everyone was staring at me.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“Yes, I can go into the Spirit World. I spend a lot of my time there, actually.” I looked over at Tenzin, clearly reading the question written all over his face. I sighed, resigning myself to the next hour of rapid-fire questions. “I mentioned something earlier to the people who found me this morning, so it would probably be a good idea to explain now. In my time, I made the decision to open the Spirit Portals. I mentioned yesterday Harmonic Convergence and Avatar Wan, correct?” Everyone nodded. “Before the last Harmonic Convergence, the spirits with us, here, in the Physical World, but due to the constant conflicts that took place between the humans and the spirits, Avatar Wan made the decision to close the spirit portals during the last Harmonic Convergence, and so the spirits and the humans have lived separately for ten thousand years. During the Harmonic Convergence in my lifetime, I made the decision to reopen the spirit portals and allow the spirits to live here once again.”

Everyone was silent for a moment.

“Why?” Jinora asked, looking both confused and elated, “Don’t get me wrong, that sounds truly amazing, but why did you decide to do it. Does something happen?

Everyone appeared to be thinking along the same lines. 

Why? That was a complicated question. There were so many reasons why it was the right thing for the world and so many wrong things that had happened as a consequence to it that had made me question whether it was truly the right decision after all. 

Give it to Jinora to give me the most difficult questions.

I was silent for a moment, thinking, before answering.

“Before Harmonic Convergence there was a civil war between the Northern and Southern water tribes.”

Everyone gasped, looking horrified.

“What?” Korra said, breathlessly.

I nodded, “In hindsight, I can see how it was a long time coming, but at the time it really did appear out of nowhere. Chief Unalak believed that the south had lost touch with its traditional, spiritual ways, and tried to force the south under Northern rule to help the “get back on track”. To back up his claims, there had recently been dark spirits plaguing southern waters, sinking ships, and backing up trade, so there were a lot of people who agreed with him. He claimed that opening the Southern Spirit Portal would help appease the spirits and stop them from attacking the Southern Water Tribe, so I agreed to open it. Not long after I opened the Northern Spirit Portal as well. Eventually, after thinking it over, I realized that the spirits and the humans weren’t meant to be separate. Avatar Wan made the right decision for the world 10,000 years ago, but the world now is drastically different from what it was then, so I left both spirit portals open.”

“But _why?”_ Jinora emphasized. “Why did you open the Northern Portal, and why did you keep them open.”

I sighed, “Look, before I explain this I just want you all to understand something.” I paused, meeting everyone’s eyes and watched as they nodded, “Many of the people who I have fought against haven’t done anything wrong yet, and the last thing I want to happen is for people to be punished over something the _might_ do. I will tell you what happened, but please, just keep that in mind.”

Everyone agreed.

“I later found out that Unalak was working for the Dark Spirit, Vaatu, Raava’s opposite. He had ordered the dark spirits to attack the south in order to provoke a civil war, and he planned on fusing with Vaatu in order to become a new Avatar, a dark Avatar, and lead the world into a new age, ruled by darkness.”

“That sounds ridiculous, “ Meelo scoffed, crossing his arms and scooting down in his chair.

I laughed lightly, “In hindsight, yeah, it was pretty ridiculous, but at the time it was downright terrifying. I was eventually able to stop him, but before Harmonic Convergence ended I realized that the spirit and physical worlds were never meant to be separate. They’d been separated because, at the time, that was what needed to happen, but it wasn’t necessary anymore. I made the decision to leave the spirit portals open because I fundamentally believed, and still do, that the spirits are meant to live with us. I honestly don’t have a better explanation than that. I wish I did, it would have saved me from a lot of the hate I got from it.”

“What was the effect on the world? On Republic City?” Lin asked. 

“It was pretty drastic. I fought Vaatu here, in Republic City.” That made her straighten in her seat and glare at me, and I quickly backtracked. “Not intentionally, of course! Vaatu decided to attack Republic City first because its symbolic nature, and I just followed him here. I was, unfortunately, in no condition to pick the battleground. But one effect the battle had on the city were these spirit vines that grew all over, right threw buildings, and an entire forest right in the middle of the downtown. Because so many people’s homes were destroyed by the vines, I was pretty unanimously disliked for my decision to reopen the spirit portals. Also-” I cut myself off and looked at Tenzin.

I took a deep breath. Helping bring back the air nation was my proudest accomplishment. I brought back a nation, one on the verge of extinction, and they came back because of _my_ decision. Because _I_ decided to leave the spirit portals open, even after all of the hate I got for it. Even after almost everyone told me that I had made the wrong decision, that leaving the spirit portals open was crazy and had only brought chaos to the world, not order, I stood my ground. And look at what came of it. A new, _peaceful,_ age, filled with spirits, and a nation brought back from the brink of extinction. A nation that worked just as hard as I did to help this world maintain order and keep the peace. 

I smiled. For the first time in what felt like forever, I truly, happily smiled. And it wasn’t because someone made me laugh, or I was hearing a particularly entertaining tale, or I was counting my blessings after realizing how lucky I was to be married to the most wonderful woman in the world. No, I smiled because I was proud of _myself._ Because of what _I_ did. And that felt pretty damned good.

I looked up at Tenzin, the smile still persistent on my face, “When I reopened the spirit portals, the world seemed to realize that it was out of balance in a way I, or anyone, could never fix. This world had always maintained the balance between the four nations, the four elements, but because of the hundred-year war there were only three elements being represented. So, one day, nonbenders all over the world woke up with air bending.”

Tenzin looked at me in shock. _Everyone_ looked at me in shock. A few of them looked on the verge of tears.

I nodded at Tenzin, “The air nation comes back.”


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon
> 
> I spent a solid 20 minutes trying to figure out the name of the guy who almost jumped off a bridge when he found out he was an Airbender, and I couldn’t find it. It took me longer trying to figure out that name than to write half this chapter, so if anyone knows the names of the new airbenders I mention please tell me, and I’ll edit it. Who knew so much energy went into the smallest details that most people barely notice?
> 
> Also, I’ve recently realized that I am using this story to creatively analyze the complexities of the Legend of Korra.
> 
> Warning: Swearing

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

_\-----_

_I looked up at Tenzin, the smile still persistent on my face, “When I reopened the spirit portals, the world seemed to realize that it was out of balance in a way I, or anyone, could never fix. This world had always maintained the balance between the four nations, the four elements, but because of the hundred-year war, there were only three elements being represented. So, one day, nonbenders all over the world woke up with air bending.”_

_Tenzin looked at me in shock. Everyone looked at me in shock. A few of them looked on the verge of tears._

_I nodded at Tenzin, “The air nation comes back.”_

\-----

Tenzin put a hand over his mouth, shocked. His eyes filled with tears. Pemma and Jinora’s did as well.

“What?” was all he said.

I nodded, smiling. 

“It was a bit… chaotic at first. None of the people ever expected anything like that to happen to them, so when they woke up with air bending… well, you can imagine how surprised they were. Not all of them took it well at first, but most of them were--”

“What do you mean ‘not all of them took it well at first’?” Tenzin asked, astounded.

I winced, remembering the man who almost threw himself off a bridge after accidentally hurting the people he cared for. Opal, who did love her newfound bending but struggled with leaving her family behind to join the air nation. The farmer, who’d refused to leave his family behind, unlike Opal. The many, many others like him who had no interest in joining the air nation, all for sensible reasons. It was extremely difficult to leave behind everything you know to help recreate a nation you had never previously identified yourself with, especially if you were content with where your life was at.

“Well, you have to look at it from their perspective,” I said, answering Tenzin’s question, “These people were all non-benders, and many of them were perfectly happy with where their life was at. Then, suddenly, they not only have airbending, but also absolutely no control over it. Not to mention many of them were suddenly asked to join the new air-nation. A lot of change happened to a lot of people in a very short amount of time, and it sent many of them reeling. It was fairly difficult in the beginning to convince people to join the new air nation, but after we’d gained enough people who wanted to learn and everything had stabilized, more and more people started joining, some of which had directly turned us down when everything first happened.”

Tenzin nodded, looking like he understood about half of what I was saying.

“I- I’m going to take a walk,” he said, abruptly standing up. He walked toward the doorway before stopping suddenly, forcing out a quiet “excuse me” as an afterthought, before continuing on his way.

It was silent for a few more seconds as everyone processed.

Meelo, who had deemed it to be too quiet, suddenly asked, “Why were you limping earlier?”

I love Tenzin’s kids, I really do, but I swear to Raava if they don’t stop asking me uncomfortable questions I’m going to throttle them.

“Uh, yeah, I was,” was my amazing answer. Why did I swear not to lie to them again?

Mako looked up from where he was staring at his plate, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” I shifted in my seat.

His eyebrows furrowed, “Are you sure? You mentioned you were in a gang fight. If you’re injured you should go to a healer.”

Now Asami looked like _she_ was going to throttle _him._

I sighed. There really wasn’t a way around this. Sure, I was fine now, but who knows if I would be tomorrow or the day after that?

“It, uh, it’s actually from Zaheer?” I glanced over at Lin, whose previously passive look became serious.

Most of the people in the room looked confused, but those who did know of Zaheer (i.e Pemma and Lin) looked horrified.

“What about Zaheer?” Tenzin asked, walking back into the room looking slightly less shellshocked.

Wow, Tenzin, what a long walk that was.

I put my head in my hands, before glancing up at Lin.

“Would you like to explain who Zaheer is?” I asked her rather forcefully. Seeing her stormy expression, I tacked on a small “please” at the end of that.

Normally she probably wouldn’t have complied, but her expression changed after she saw whatever look my face was conveying. In fact, she looked slightly concerned. 

Well, as concerned as Lin Beifong could look.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, before facing everyone.

“Zaheer was a man who, along with three others, tried to kidnap the Avatar when she was a kid. He nearly succeeded,” She paused, taking in Korra’s horrified expression. “Luckily, the White Lotus, along with Tonraq and Fire Lord Zuko, were able to take them down. They are now kept in highly guarded, secret, specialized prisons all around the world, which were designed to combat the element they can bend. Zaheer was the ‘leader’, and the only non-bender of the group. He was the main reason why the Avatar was trained in the south pole instead of traveling like her previous lives did.”

Korra looked confused at this, “I thought Aang asked for me to be trained at the compound. And why would they try and kidnap me?”

I answered this, “No, it was a decision made by our father, Cheif Sokka, and several others.” Seeing the (understandable) anger in her face I elaborated, “It took me a while to understand too, but this world that we live in is so drastically different from any of the previous Avatars. There was no such thing as radio, the telephone, satomobiles, or ‘approval ratings’. The world is more interconnected than ever before, and with that advancement came a different worldview of the Avatar. Would I have preferred to travel the world and find my own masters? Yes, of course, but the unfortunate reality is that if I had been allowed to do that I probably wouldn’t be alive today. Not to mention I knew I was the Avatar long before I was 16, the traditional age the Avatar learns who they are. And as for why they tried to kidnap us, I later found out that Zaheer was apart of an anarchical organization of the Red Lotus.”

“Like the White Lotus?” Lin asked, taking notes on a small notepad that appeared out of nowhere. 

“It was founded by a former White Lotus member. The Red Lotus believed-- believes in the “natural order”. They think that government and law are what is wrong with the world, and they have been actively working to disband the governments of this world for years. Zaheer was one of their leaders.”

“So there are more of them?” Lin questioned.

I nodded, “Yes.”

I listed off the names of the people I remembered that had been arrested the day… the day everything happened. However, we’d been unable to obtain any new information about the Red Lotus after Zaheer’s arrest, and none of his fellow members had been any more inclined to talk. I told Lin this.

“But what does this have to do with your injury?” Mako asked after Lin had finished with her questions (she had, however, promised more questions later, as always).

I resigned myself to my fate. That’s what I was here for anyway, right Making peace with the past, so I can move on with my life?

I sighed. _Might as well just rip the band-aid off,_ I thought to myself.

“Zaheer escaped,” I deadpanned.

No one was really shocked by this.

“And he used air bending to do it,” I elaborated.

This shocked people.

“No,” Tenzin said in horror.

I nodded. “He then managed to kidnap me and he and other Red Lotus members tried to get rid of the Avatar. Permanently.”

“How?” Jinora asked, fearing the worst.

“If the Avatar dies in the Avatar State, the cycle is broken. Zaheer used poison to force my body into the Avatar state in an act of self-defense before he’d kill me.”

I really didn’t want to talk about this, but if Lin knew-- if _Korra_ knew what Zaheer was planning, maybe she wouldn’t have to go through the same fate I did.

“He failed,” _obviously_ , I thought, “but I had to fight him while I was poisoned. Not to mention, Zaheer managed to figure out a subset of air bending-- weightlessness.”

At this point, I was slightly afraid that I was going to give Tenzin a heart attack.

“Because of this, when I had to fight him, we were both fighting in the sky and… well, I fell. With the poison in my body I couldn’t--”

I cut myself off, avoiding everyone’s eyes. The last thing I needed right now was pity. Spirits know I got enough of that.

I took a deep breath before looking up and continuing. 

“I broke my spine,” I said, looking at Korra.

Any residual anger in her face from her previous realization about the compound was gone, replaced with terror. 

I wanted to tell her that she would be fine. That what happened to me wouldn’t happen to her. But I couldn’t. Because I didn’t know if it would.

“I spent about a year in a wheelchair, relearning how to walk. Then I had to relearn how to fight and use my bending. After that, I spent six months traveling before I began my duties as Avatar again, and even then I’m still not at the level I was at before my injury. I don’t think I will ever be.”

Any residual happiness I had from my realization about the air nation was gone.

No one spoke, not even Meelo. No one knew what to say.

 _I_ didn’t know what to say. Speaking about some of the most traumatic moments of my life to a room of people wasn’t easy.

 _But I know these people,_ I reminded myself. _These people are my family, even if they don’t know me._

And that was true. These people were my family. A family who’d stood by my side when I needed them, who’d fought with me and cried with me and bled with me. Who’d always tried their best to be there for me in whatever way they could, even if I’d constantly pushed them away. They deserved to know the truth. They deserved to know why the simplest things like _standing up_ were so fucking hard, why getting out of bed some mornings was even harder. Spirits, my _wife_ was here, sitting silently in the corner glaring at her boyfriend who had feelings for me and was being an ass about it to her, unintentionally or not. 

At the time it hadn’t pissed me off at all. Mako’s sort of cheating on Asami with me, that is. _I_ wanted to date Mako, and I didn’t really care about how that affected everyone else. It wasn’t until later on that I realized how miserable the whole situation must have been for Asami. 

Now she was _my_ wife. My wife, who had no idea she would end up married to me (if she even did in this reality) (spirits, I hope she did). My wife, who had an asshole for a boyfriend (again, unintentionally or not), who was more emotionally invested in another girl than he was in her (even if that ‘other girl’ was me).

Asami caught my gaze and looked at me questioningly.

Spirits, why was this situation so complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how long this is going to be. I thought it was going to be eight chapters and then it wasn't. Then I thought it was going to be 10 and it wasn't.
> 
> Also, I’d like to use my small platform to urge people to act to help the black community, especially with everything going on right now. I’m from Minnesota, and I saw firsthand where the riots and protests started. Please help out in anyway you can, whether that is through donations or protesting or signing petitions. #blacklivesmatter


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it’s not a Tuesday. But I stopped following my schedule a long time ago anyway. Surprise!
> 
> Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

Disclaimer: All rights go to Nickelodeon

———

The silence was becoming unbearable.

It lasted a few more seconds before I looked toward everyone.

“Anymore questions?” I asked, praying that there weren’t any.

There was a pause, before Korra suddenly looked at me with a look on her face that I  couldn’t decipher.

“Just one,” she said, hesitating.

I nodded, gesturing for her to continue.

“If you could give any advice to your past self, well, me, what would it be?”

I leaned back in my chair, everyone’s curious eyes burning into me.

“I—“ I cut myself off, thinking.

This was the one thing I couldn’t mess up, because if I could make the next few yearseven slightly easier— slightly more bearable for my past self— and by extension help the world, then I would do everything in my power to make that so.

I took a deep breath, “Growing up, I always had a very ‘black and white’ view on the world,” I started, “And I think I got it from a mixture of places. Being so sheltered during my childhood defiantly played a huge part in it, but also any history lesson that I would have. They all painted the world in a polarizing light. When I’d hear the legends of how Aang managed to defeat Fire Lord Ozai, it was always portrayed in a very specific way. The Avatar and the other nations were good, and the Fire Nation was bad. Good vs evil. And good won, because good always wins.”

I paused to take a breath.

“As a child that’s what they teach you. No one tells you that not all people of the Fire Nation agreed with what it’s leaders were doing. No one tells you that a majority of people who did support the war in the Fire Nation only did so because of the propaganda that they were force fed their entire lives. And if you try to deeply understand history you will see this, but most people don’t try to, so most people don’t see. That’s all the world is to them. Black and white. ”

Everyone was staring at me, hanging onto my every word.

“When I came to Republic City for the first time I was very much stuck in this mindset. ‘I’m good, because I’m the Avatar. The government is good, because their our leaders. Anyone who try’s to disrupt our hard-won peace is bad.’ But then I faced Amon, and I heard his story. Yes, Amon was a horrible person, and he himself had horrible intentions, but a large portion of the people who believed in the equality movement did not.”

Several people started to protest, but I waved them off, silently asking them to let me finish.

“Think about it. Most people don’t devote their life to something if they are fueled by a motive with malicious intent. The people who followed the equality movement wanted exactly what they named their movement after— equality. And yes, they went about it the wrong way, but it’s because they were desperate. Non-benders  aren’t  seen as equals to benders. And of course every person in this room claims to see non-benders as equal— believes that they see non-benders as equal— but there will always be some part of benders that will treat non-benders differently because they can’t do the exact same things that a bender can do. I’m not saying that non-benders aren’t just as capable as benders, they are, but in this society it is more difficult for them to find a job, and because of that there are less of them living in more influential positions. Due to all of this, they have no way to better their rights because benders are making the laws of how non-benders are treated. ”

I stopped again, taking a deep breath.

“My point in saying all this is that nothing is black and white, and you will never be able to maintain peace if you can’t see everyone’s side of the story. Heading straight first into a fight without trying to see  why  the people you are fighting are doing what they are doing will destroy any chance you have at creating a compromise. Yes, the equalists need to be stopped, but the ideals they are fighting for need to be met if you are going to have any chance at creating long-term peace.”

I looked around the room, meeting everyone’s eyes, making sure that they understood what I was saying.

I didn’t realize how true what I was saying was until right now. After everything I’ve been through, after having so many people see  me  as the enemy I realized that I’d never had of been able to accomplish what I had without learning this. Because peace is only temporary if you cut off pthe branch, but if you want to create a legacy of peace you have to find it’s source— it’s root.

I sighed, centering myself, before continuing.

“My other peace of advice is that  it’s okay it fail . It’s okay to  not know . And it’s okay not please everyone. Anyone who is expecting you to be absolutely perfect and meet all of their expectations is going to be disappointed for multiple reasons. The first is that your still learning,” I was speaking directly to Korra, “ _I’m_ still learning. And every time I fail I do that much better the second time. Failure is learning, it’s growing. I never would have been as successful without learning from my mistakes. When I first got to Republic City, I made the wrong decision a lot, as I’m sure you have already experienced. It’s because of those failures that I was able to stop Amon. Without the lessons I learned I never would have been able too. And I’m okay with that now— I’m grateful that I have had those experiences, as horrible as they were at the time. But when they happened, all I faced from the public was hate, and judgement. I always made the wrong decision to them, I was always doing the wrong thing. All of this judgement made much, much harder to do my job. I eventually realized tha t I wasn’t always doing the wrong thing , I was just not living up to people expectations. Aang was a great Avatar, but he was a very different person from me, and he had a lot more experience, so of course everything I did was either wrong or not what people were expecting because it may not have been exactly what Aang would have done. I eventually realized that I didn’t have to listen to what public opinion was because my job wasn’t to please them. My job is to do what is best for  them. More specifically, what  I  think is best for the world. Of course you should listen to others advice, but when it comes down to it you have to make the final decision and you have to stand by that decision. When I first opened the spirit portals almost everyone saw it as a bad thing. But I stood by my decision, and because of that the Air Nation has returned.”

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts and stop what was beginning to become less of advice and more of a rant.

“Do what you think is best. Accept and learn from your mistakes. And, most importantly, look at every situation from every side, not just the one you align yourself with. That’s my advice to you.”

There was a moment of silence, but it was no where near as uncomfortable as it was before Korra’s question.

In the silence I realized something. I was okay with being the Avatar. Actually, I wasn’t just okay with it, I  loved  it.

When I was younger I used to think that I loved being the Avatar, but in reality I just loved the power it gave me and how special it made me.

But now, I realized, I loved being the Avatar because I got to make a difference.

Yes, it was probably one of the most difficult jobs there was, and yes, I didn’t know what I was doing half the time, but at least I was helping.

The world was a better place then it was when I entered it.  I  brought the Air Nation back.  I  brought the spirits back. Non-benders now have more rights than they’d ever had before.

And yes, there were still so many thing that needed to be changed, but at least I could help change them. I could help non-benders gain even more rights. I could help them be _equal._ Because I was the Avatar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably be one more chapter and then maybe an epilogue, but we will see. I hope you enjoyed! (I wrote this on my phone and my thumbs are now numb so... yeah)


End file.
